life lesson.....

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In and Out

Each day of our lives we experience the balance of the inner and the outer in the simple act of breathing. If we exhale too much, we start to waft off. If we inhale too much, we can’t hold it. We know very quickly when our breath is out of balance as we hyperventilate. We hold our breath. We shallow breathe. We do exasperated exhaling. We can also do sudden frightened intakes of breath. The breath gives away a lot about what’s going on for us at any given moment. Notice how every meditative tradition and all body-based practices such as yoga and martial arts invite us to be aware of our breath. Our breath serves us well. By breathing deeply into the belly we can reduce anxiety.  Panting of breath is a classic childbirth strategy. Deep breathing slows us down and centres us. Conscious breathing quietens the mind.  
All aspects of our lives with an internal and external orientation need to be in balance. This concept of balance will be different for everyone. Generally life is full of “doing” with not much “being”. This creates in all of us a lot of unease and lack of balance. Our life is often full of opposites: doing and being, breathing in and breathing out. Balance is needed. How will you know if your life is in balance? Try to recall what you have done during the last week. Was it balanced? Many will be unbalanced. The majority will lean towards the “doing” side of the equation rather than the being.  Some will be unbalanced on the other side. How do you feel? To begin to understand how you feel you need to check into your body, assess your feelings and your thinking for clues.

Balance is not, in essence a need to have equal weight on each side. It is more about establishing your own unique balance which enables you to keep yourself finely tuned and in a relationship with your Inner, deepest self. Therefore, balance does not require you to spend equal amounts of time in the inner world and the outer world.  It may be that you spend more time in meditation than exercise whilst you establish what it is you need to create your unique balance. Balance is what you will come to know from the inside out as you create it for yourself. It takes dedication to the self as well as time to establish balance. Part of this establishment involves finding meaning, finding some structure and what it is you intend to create.

How do you know you are out of balance? Are you:

• Restless
• disconnected
• agitated
• tired
• angry
• sad
• purposeless
• disinterested
• Aggressive
• Passive
• Joyless
• Hopeless

How do you know you are in balance?
Are you:

• Energized
• Connected
• Aligned
• purposeful
• engaged
• content
• rested
• peaceful
• relaxed
• Joyous
• Hopeful
• Active
• expressive

What do you know about your unique experience of having your life in balance? Only you will know and only you can adjust yourself towards being balanced.
Life is often difficult and full of stress leaving it hard to find a balance. It is easy to get caught in the outward distractions, without making time to Tune in. The options we create to obtain balance may well be out of reach if they are unrealistic. In reality most people can’t just stop their work and turn their life upside down.  This would create an imbalance. We can’t stop reality from unfolding and often it unfolds with pain and suffering. A good strategy is to take moments where you can begin find balance. Perhaps do a meditation instead of an hour watching television. Make a change that is not necessarily going to take you into an imbalance in another area of your life. It is possible to just tune in to brief moments throughout the day such as taking a few inward breaths before you start to work; consciously driving more slowly, stretching for a few minutes when you wake up instead of leaping into action. We can consciously choose not to rush throughout the day to meet deadlines. Our inner self is always available to us and we can choose to access it and deepen our life balance.
The same is true for those who may be unbalanced on the inner side of the equation: people who are shy, or limited by circumstances of health or access. Those who are inwardly focussed by choice will show struggle to gain a balance. We may find safety tuning in to your feelings and find projecting yourself to the outer world to be more difficult. It is a necessary task to challenge both aspects of the self to obtain balance. We need to challenge our avoidance to creating a balance. We have to find balance by moving to the outer world slowly, one step at a time. Try smiling at someone who is a stranger to you, place a call to a friend, write a letter to the editor, take a walk in the park: finding balance in a moment by moving out of your usual patterns of behaviour. Each movement towards a different way brings us closer to our own unique balance.
We experience the most of who we are when we assess ourselves by tuning in and then accessing our new found skills and gifts as we take a step out of the realm of the old self.
We can have sovereignty of our inner gifts. We have access to feelings, imagination, thinking and our intuition. We can hear the call of the true Self. We are conscious. We can then claim different gifts when we move out of the self into a different space which is equally as rich. We create change, we manifest our inner visions, we can impact our world and we take actions that matter. We respond to the call of the Self.
Who am I? I am a being of consciousness and will. I am the breath in and the breath out as well as the space in between the breath. I am all I hold inside. I am all I express to the world. I tune in. I move out.